Bitchy Blondes And Sexy Redheads
by TicTacStory
Summary: Matt s DS doesn t work Thank Mello for that and watching two women stick their tongues down eachother s troath is quite a time-passer,too bad, one of them looks like Mello, and Mello does NOT like it when people use his couch for other things but sitting.
1. GoggleWearing Sinners

Matt was recklessly pressing the buttons of the remote seeking for something interesting to look at, with no DS in his hands and no Mello to entertain himself with there was not much left to enjoy.

He sighed as he passed the one lame show after the other; Somehow he didnt see the appeal in watching woman fussing over wedding dresser, nor did he feel like watching Dora and her little friends highly insult a yellow hairy...thing.

_Why the hell did he feel the urge to throw my DS in the godamn sink? does he even KNOW how much it costs? and all just because I was listening to his little speech...that bastard._

He was on the edge of loosing all hope in finding something decent to watch, but "accidently" pressed "five" twice, fifty five.

_**-Matt talking in third person-**_

The woman on the screen was rather intriguing, for a moment Matt tought it was Mello who was stripping off her tights and shoving her way-big-yet-amazing breasts in the screen.

Atleast, that`s what it looked like she was doing, stripping her tights, I mean.

Although it was quite a mystery how the hell she was going to take them off if she was sitting on the chair as if it was a horse, also, Matt didn`t see his friend as a type who neccesarily wears tights.

However, Matt was pleased by the woman on the screen, her blue eyes and blonde hair were just perfect, just like Me...

No, no, no shut up, how can he even THINK about his friend stripping off infront of him on a chair?

He broke his DS damnit! And besides, he knows the guy for what? 15, 16 years? he`s like a BROTHER to him, although that would surely be one hot incest...

No, enough nonsense shit, concentrate on the woman...oh look she`s taking her bra off...how would Mello look if he had a stuffed bra?

stuffed bra? the hell...

That`s it Matt, you`ve gone berserk, the smoking has reached its limits, honestly CONCENTRATE ON BLONDE WOMAN WHO LOOKS LIKE MELLO!

And with this in mind, he deepend himself on the screen, with Mello on his mind, it wasn`t weird or anything.

About a half hour passed and Matt was commonly bored, which was weird, seeing that he would never fuck the same girl twice, and had a quite a sexual desire, the desire of a damn thirteen year old boy with his hormones on the edge, that was Matt.

And Matt being Matt, easily conquered every woman he wanted, he would oftenly tease his blonde friend and there were a few ocasions Mello randomly pecked his lips, or he would even more randomly sit on his lap.

Soo instead of watching the woman who, quite frankly, was now sitting on another girl`s lap with her damn naked body, he yawned and walked to the bathroom in a attempt to fullfill his needs but however failed.

Nevermind that, he just had a half hour of freedom before the bitchy blonde would come back from God knows where.

_**-Meanwhile, in the living room-**_

Mello walked in the room with a tyresome gesture, he threw his leather jacket on the couch and was surprised to see that Matt wasn`t there sulking about his DS.

He was on his way to the bedroom when the reflection of the mirror allowed him to see what was going on the TV screen.

You dont need to be a genius to find out what Matt does when he doesnt have his DS.

Let`s put it bluntly, either watching porn, sulking,smoking,screwing some girl or bashing Mello about his chocolate addiction.

_As if he has room to talk, aren`t gamenerds like him supposed to be a turn-off to girls? what`s soo badass on him that makes everyone swoon over him? God..._

He yawned at the screen showing zero interest in the woman who was sitting on a table sticking her tongue down another girl`s troath.

Slightly pouting he wondered what he was going to do to Matt...damn he loved tempting the man... Suddenly he spot the chair where the blonde woman was recently sitting in,

and then he got an idea...

_**A/N Well, this is obviously going to be a two-shot, its quite weird, to be honest.**_


	2. Leather Whores

_**A/N Well I was thinking about this story yesterday night and my overactive imagination went left and right, in the end I kept it simple, for the sake of everyone...**_

Matt boredly walked in the living room just to see Mello sitting in the chair just like the woman had been sitting just a few minutes ago...the hell?

"What the hell are YOU doing?" He frowned and pointed at the black&silver clock on the wall. "Weren`t you supposed to come back later from wherever you came from? Also, what the hell are you doing sitting in the chair like that?" The last question, however, was said with just a smirk of amusement.

"Oh, is Matty-chan not happy to see me?" Said Mello innocently, his finger in his mouth made the whole situation just that much more unconfortable.

_Did he just say...chan? _Matt tought. "Right where were you and what drugs did you take? `cause seriously-"

"Is Matty-chan angry with Mello?" The blonde said a little sad, and for reasons that are beyond Matt he bit his finger in a seductive I-wanna-fuck-you way, but of course, that couldnt be it could it?

I mean, HELLO, Matt has fucked how many woman exacly?

And for God`s sake, this is MELLO we are talking about, Mello, he who decided to not a give a shit about woman and happily ignoring all his manly urgues.

"Really Mello, stop calling me chan, are you freaking Japanese? And please do answer my question,"

Mello didnt answer, instead he moved his lower body against the chair in a slow, tempting, and just plain hot way, Matt was getting concerned on his health,also, no matter how you look at it, Mello was sexy, hot, looked like a woman, and this made Matt feel sligthly hard.

"Mello, the fuck is wrong with you?" Matt asked, it took him all he had to not rip Mello`s clothes off right there and then.

Matt always did have a low resistance.

"Matty-chan, perhaps I should ask you that question." Mello got out of his position and aimed for the mini-red fridge, he came back with a pot nutella.

That`s right, NUTELLA.

And can Matt throw a pot Nutella in the sink? OF COURSE NOT.

And, excuse ME but id say a DS is worth more than A POT NUTELLA.

However, Matt was intrigued by the POT NUTELLA.

First of all because he hates Nutella, secondly because Mello didnt bother eating it with something decent -like bread- and decided that sticking his fingers in and licking it up would be a better way to eat it, thirdly because Mello recovered his im-sitting-on-a-horse position, and lastly because he realized he was sitting on the floor, looking UP to his blonde friend who seemed to have suffered the drastic change from a hot-headed chocoholic to a chocoholic japanese whore.

He stood up, being able to look down on Mello; who was having (or soo he tought) the time of his life licking the chocolate of his fingers, he spoke. "Mello...just what do you mean with that." He shot im a concerned look.

Because, well, he WAS concerned.

Concerned over the fact that Mello was getting kinky on a NUTELLA POT.

_How can people even LIKE Nutella_? Matt wondered, its just CHOCOLATE. _God, weird people._

But somehow the fact that Mello was licking it like that made the whole thing more bearable, or not, the unfortunate fate that he wasnt the one licking his fingers.

"I hardly appreaciate it when people use the couch for other than sitting." With this, Mello lift his harm to pass his chocolate-covered fingers across Matt`s lips, "Did that whore remind you of me? Matty-chan?"

Matt decided to ignore the chan remark, and instead tried to also ignore the fact that his lips were covered with NUTELLA out of all things.

"Well, yeah." Matt conffesed, although it didnt look like he really regret it, or as if it cost him life admitting it.

"Matt...why do you mistake me for a whore? more less, as far as I know I have no tights nor breasts,"

Matt tought about this,"Mello dearest." He suddenly said. "I do not mistake you for a whore, you are a whore."

Mello grabbed Matt`s collar to help himself to get up, again in a way to slow -I-want-to-fuck-you way, "And why is that? Must I make you regret saying that?" He whispered.

"Oh and what exacly are you going to do to make me regret that?" Matt asked, quite amused.

"I will make you scream." Mello announced, like a puppy softly licking the chocolate of Matt`s cheek.

"Oh please do." Matt said teasingly.

Mello moved his fingers with a motion near Matt`s mouth, Matt, unable to defy his own needs couldnt help but lick the chocolate off.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Said Mello, moving his face a little closer to his friend`s.

"Chocolate is gross, must I not lick it off?"

"Probably," Mello said, officialy loosing himself from the innocent act of before.

"But you know..." Matt started lifting Mello from his chair. "There`s not just chocolate on your fingers..." With that he slowly kissed Mello`s lips, digging his tongue in his throath, "On your lips, on your tongue..." he continued. "...on your neck." And like a vampire seeking for blood he kissed his neck, Mello jerked his head a little back, quite enjoying this, he refused to go any further. "Matt." He pushed Matt back and stared right into his eyes. "The girls on TV couldn`t do that could they?"

Matt nodded and moved his hands to Mello`s hips. "So what?"

"I thought you liked those shows, please, I do not want to disturb your hobbies." He moved his body more up to Matt`s physical contact that hurt like hell.

Matt huffed. "Shut up."

Mello got himself out of Matt`s grip and moved away.

"Oh come ON Mello, you just can`t DO that." Matt sighed.

Mello grinned. "Why? I tought I was a sexless whore, surely you wouldnt expect to much from me will you now?"

Matt gritted his teeth. "Fine, I was wrong, your right, now come here."

"Your cute when your desperate." He placed himself on the same position as he was earlier , except that now the chair was Matt. "What do you want me to do Matt?"

Matt pushed Mello on the couch, however the blonde`s legs were still wrapped around Matt`s waist. "I can think of a few things."

"Just say it Matt..."

"Say what?"

Mello smiled, and both of them knew Mello was way stronger than Matt, taking advantage of that, Mello with his strength went forward and pinned Matt on the couch. "Can you not say it? Im afraid I must leave if you cannot..." The blonde lift Matt`s shirt a little, allowing him to see Matt`s quite perfect chest, with his fingers he started brushing on the skin, his chocolate fingers making the touch feel sweet.

"Please?" Matt asked it as if it was a huge sacrifice.

"You proud motherfucker,but I do forgive you."

"You know, this is all your fault for throwing my DS in the sink." Matt said.

"Is it that bad?" Mello asked gladly kissing Matt with his chocolate lips,

And, to be honest, Chocolate had never tasted soo good.

_**A/N Man, that sucked.**_

_**I could continue this and make it a Yaoi chapter, although my experience with Yaoi writing is quite limited, and besides, I think sadistic/tempting yaoi is the best, and yeah,**_

_**Anywho, hope you liked it o.o**_


End file.
